As Westerners we believe our individual life has meaning. That we are each here for a specific purpose. We spend most of our lives looking for that purpose. We turn towards making money, devoting most of our lives to a career (satisfying or not), having babies, taking care of family, etc.
But, the truth is that we don't get too long as this earth. So, what's all this effort for? Different strokes for different folks. Some may decide that cash is king as spend all their time serving the man for that cheddar. Others decide that their life has meaning by raising a family due to unexpected circumstances or careful plans. Most people spend their entire lives looking for the reason they are here.
So, we wait. We wait to grow up. We wait to become finally responsible. We wait for weekends. We wait for vacations. We wait to find "the one". We wait to start a family. We wait to live. We wait to die. And in-between all of this we experience our life.
Life is comprised of both good and bad. And like the Gita says, how do we know one without the other. We need both. As an American, I like to thing each experience has significant meaning. "Whatever is meant to be will be". But, what if it's not in fact that way? As a yogi I tend to think the universe gives you what you need, not what you want. Instead of attaching such a value that you needed that, etc., just allowing it to happen and to let it go. Allowing your life experience to unfold, rather than working so hard to make each experience have so much significance in your life.
Fresh out of pretty toxic relationship, I find myself free, yet boggled by next move. Everything was pretty clear before- I make this work, I get married, I have children. Not entirely ludicrous since I am almost 30 and this seems to be the train most of my other friends are on. Although I was never ready for any of this immediately, I accepted this could quite possibly be my next step. I have been luckier than most people in the respect that I have a strong sense of self. I know who I am, what I like, and what I dislike. Stubbornly, I make little exceptions- except in relationships. My partner of almost a year has disrespected me in a plethora of inexcusable ways. But, I excused them. Simply because I know below the fuck ups is someone who is damaged and needs help. And I do believe my presence in his life has opened his eyes- a bit. My purpose in this life is to help people. It's what I indirectly do as a yoga teacher and directly do as a friend, co-worker, and lover. I believed that he would change if I gave enough love. And sometimes enough will never be enough. There needs to be a time when we can recognize that there is nothing we can do and it is up to there. Let go of the self blame that you didn't do enough. Let go of the future you made up in your head- the house, the kids, the life. Let go of the ego (and societal stress) that your job as a yoga teacher isn't real since you don't get large sums of money, a 401k, and can't yet move out of your parents.
What I do know is that I love myself. And I love what I do. I wouldn't trade it in for anything. And I know first-hand that most people do not live like this though financially sound, married, and with babies. Don't get me wrong- I do want children. And if I ever found the right person I would get married though I think it basically just a title and in place for legality purposes.
From every end comes a new beginning. I don't know where I am going. But, I know where I have been and I am forever grateful for every person and experience I have come in contact with. I can't question why it happened. It already did. No matter good or bad, I hope I have grown from it or them. The only thing that disappoints us are our expectations and once we let go of that, everything seems a bit easier. Find your purpose in life and give it away. Don't let the other layers hold you down.
But, the truth is that we don't get too long as this earth. So, what's all this effort for? Different strokes for different folks. Some may decide that cash is king as spend all their time serving the man for that cheddar. Others decide that their life has meaning by raising a family due to unexpected circumstances or careful plans. Most people spend their entire lives looking for the reason they are here.
So, we wait. We wait to grow up. We wait to become finally responsible. We wait for weekends. We wait for vacations. We wait to find "the one". We wait to start a family. We wait to live. We wait to die. And in-between all of this we experience our life.
Life is comprised of both good and bad. And like the Gita says, how do we know one without the other. We need both. As an American, I like to thing each experience has significant meaning. "Whatever is meant to be will be". But, what if it's not in fact that way? As a yogi I tend to think the universe gives you what you need, not what you want. Instead of attaching such a value that you needed that, etc., just allowing it to happen and to let it go. Allowing your life experience to unfold, rather than working so hard to make each experience have so much significance in your life.
Fresh out of pretty toxic relationship, I find myself free, yet boggled by next move. Everything was pretty clear before- I make this work, I get married, I have children. Not entirely ludicrous since I am almost 30 and this seems to be the train most of my other friends are on. Although I was never ready for any of this immediately, I accepted this could quite possibly be my next step. I have been luckier than most people in the respect that I have a strong sense of self. I know who I am, what I like, and what I dislike. Stubbornly, I make little exceptions- except in relationships. My partner of almost a year has disrespected me in a plethora of inexcusable ways. But, I excused them. Simply because I know below the fuck ups is someone who is damaged and needs help. And I do believe my presence in his life has opened his eyes- a bit. My purpose in this life is to help people. It's what I indirectly do as a yoga teacher and directly do as a friend, co-worker, and lover. I believed that he would change if I gave enough love. And sometimes enough will never be enough. There needs to be a time when we can recognize that there is nothing we can do and it is up to there. Let go of the self blame that you didn't do enough. Let go of the future you made up in your head- the house, the kids, the life. Let go of the ego (and societal stress) that your job as a yoga teacher isn't real since you don't get large sums of money, a 401k, and can't yet move out of your parents.
What I do know is that I love myself. And I love what I do. I wouldn't trade it in for anything. And I know first-hand that most people do not live like this though financially sound, married, and with babies. Don't get me wrong- I do want children. And if I ever found the right person I would get married though I think it basically just a title and in place for legality purposes.
From every end comes a new beginning. I don't know where I am going. But, I know where I have been and I am forever grateful for every person and experience I have come in contact with. I can't question why it happened. It already did. No matter good or bad, I hope I have grown from it or them. The only thing that disappoints us are our expectations and once we let go of that, everything seems a bit easier. Find your purpose in life and give it away. Don't let the other layers hold you down.
